Now Or Never
by XxScorpio-MoonxX
Summary: After nearly a year of collecting jewel shards,Kagome and Inuyasha’s emotions are at an alltime high. After yet another argument, Kagome has finally had enough and leaves for good. Faced with the threat of lossing her..... Full Summery inside,onesh


Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the characters, I'm just borrowing them for a little while. I also don't own the lyrics to 'Together' by Avril Lavinge.  
  
A/N: Well, here I am with yet another one-shot. I really have to quit writing these, lol! Anyways, not much else to say except please enjoy this fic. and just a note, I'm sorry if Kagome seems a little OOC to you in this fic, it's just my perception on how she would react under the conditions. And to anyone who reviewed any of my past works, I just want to let you know you guys kick fucking ass!  
  
""Speaking  
  
'' Thoughts  
  
[] Song lyrics  
  
Summery: After nearly a year of collecting jewel shards, on top of the impending battle with Naraku, Kagome and Inuyasha's emotions are at an all- time high. After yet another argument, Kagome has finally had enough and leaves - for good. Faced with the threat of loosing Kagome forever, Inuyasha is forced to confront the ghosts of his past.  
  
Now Or Never  
  
The wind blew softly over the small village as the two figures stood alone near the Bone-Eaters well, the anger practically radiating from them. It was thick like fudge, and spread like a dangerous gas as the two glared daggers at each other.  
  
"NO!" One yelled, her chocolate eyes blazing with anger. "Your not leaving here to go after Naraku by yourself!"  
  
"And why not?" The other yelled back, his silvery hair billowing in the soft breeze. "Are you forgetting that he set me and Kikyo up to betray each other? That he ruined my life?"  
  
"I see." said Kagome coolly. "Then Kikyo was your entire life huh?"  
  
"Kagome, don't even go there right now, I'm not in the fucking mood." The girl's eyes narrowed into an look of all out hatred as Kikyo's face swam just inside her vision.  
  
"And why not?" She shot back. "All you do is moan about her anyway!"  
  
"Kagome-" Inuyasha started, but was cut off by the angry Miko.  
  
"Don't Kagome me!" She seethed, not wanting the harsh words to leave her mouth, but unable to stop them as the dam that she had kept hidden for so long burst. The dam of her anger at Kikyo for capturing the heart of the man she loved, the dam of anger at Inuyasha for not being able to see that Kikyo wasn't any good for him - that she was slowly destroying him. "Inuyasha, it was fifty years ago, so please do us all a favor and GET OVER IT!" The minute the words left her mouth she regretted them. It wasn't Inuyasha's fault that he loved her. She looked away, not wanting to see the hurt look in his eyes.  
  
[Something just isn't right  
  
I can feel it inside]  
  
The hanyou grit his teeth as the words struck him hard. He couldn't help it, he loved her, he had promised he would always protect her. His very life was hers.  
  
"She's better then you anyway." He blurted. "At least she wouldn't set us back by at least months by making everyone waste their time rescuing her." The words hot Kagome like a slap in the face. All the worries, the anxieties, all the fears that she had felt since Kikyo had entered the picture had just been confirmed.  
  
He didn't love her.  
  
He loved Kikyo  
  
And he found her annoying.  
  
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, and before she could stop herself, she had slapped Inuyasha clean across the face - hard.  
  
"YOU JERK!" She screamed, fighting back the tears that so wanted to engulf her. "TAKE THAT STUPID SOUL STEALING MONSTER! SEE IF I CARE! I HATE YOU INUYASHA!" Her anger spent from her yelling, the tears overtook her, and before Inuyasha could do anything she had thrown herself into the well, disappearing back to her own time.  
  
[The truth isn't far behind me  
  
You can't deny]  
  
The silver haired half-youkai bowed his head in shame as he stared down the empty well, his small dog ears drooping.  
  
'Wait to go bastard.' He berated himself. 'Now she really does fucking hate you, not that you deserved anything else in the first place.' The strange desire to cry come upon him, but he pushed it away fiercely. Turning silently away from the well, he walked into the empty hut.  
  
[When I turn the lights out  
  
When I close my eyes]  
  
On his way in, he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Turning around he came face-to-face with his own reflection. Loathing welled up inside him as he had never felt it before, and before he knew what he was doing, he had sent his fist flying straight into the glass.  
  
Shards flew in every which direction, and as he pulled his fist away he noticed the crimson trail that as dripping from his hand. Opening his hand he saw the gash that was no doubt caused from his little outburst.  
  
Wiping the blood on his kimono, he silently walked out of the hut, the only evidence that he had been there all being the broken mirror and a few drops of his cursed Hanyou blood.  
  
Kagome sank into the warm water of the bath, her long raven hair held up by a clip so as not to get wet. She didn't understand why she had just slapped Inuyasha like that.  
  
She usually didn't hurt people, especially people she loved, but she had just been so......... angry. But not for long, as her hatred had long given way to the sadness that was currently ripping her fragile heart to shreds.  
  
He didn't need or want her around. He had Kikyo, that was all he needed.  
  
'It's amazing.' She thought bitterly as she stared at her reflection in the water. 'After being set up for betrayal over fifty years ago, after Kikyo's body was remade from fire and brimstone..... he still loves her.' She sighed, feeling fresh tears wet her eyes.  
  
'There's just no room for me in his heart, it's been completely consumed by Kikyo.' The tears slowly fell down her face, dripping off her chin to mingle with the warm bath water. 'Inuyasha....... I thought that maybe somewhere deep down he felt a little something for me. I'm such a fool.'  
  
[Reality overcomes me  
  
I'm living a lie]  
  
She was crying uncontrollably now, the river of her broken heart making itself be known. She hated Inuyasha, she hated Kikyo, but most of all, she hated herself.  
  
She had let herself live out the petty hope that maybe he could find some room to love her.  
  
She wanted to truly hate him, write him off, and forget him, but she knew that she just didn't have the strength to do it. Never again would the word 'normal' have the same meaning because 'normal' just wasn't what she had considered to be normal without Inuyasha.  
  
[When I'm alone I  
  
Feel so much better]  
  
Resting her arms and head on the side of the bathtub, she cried. Cried for all the times she should have, and she cried for the hoped that had been shattered, letting the tears flow until she had nothing left inside but emptiness.  
  
[And when I'm around you  
  
I don't feel]  
  
Inuyasha gazed down at his already heeled hand before crossing it over his chest, his face remaining utterly impassive, not daring to show any of the turmoil that was going on within.  
  
Why did he have to bring up Kikyo? He knew how much it seemed to hurt Kagome.  
  
'And you just couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut.' He scowled himself, repeating the insults that he had learned to believe over time again and again in his head. 'Your nothing, just a lowly half breed. I wouldn't blamed her if she sealed the fucking well, it would serve me right.'  
  
[Together  
  
It doesn't feel right at all  
  
Together  
  
Together we built a wall]  
  
Suddenly he wished he had another mirror to smash. At least then he would be able to relieve some of the stress. His ears perked up as he heard someone approaching, and after a quick sniff at the air he identified the newcomer as Shippo.  
  
Sure enough, seconds after he heard the small kitsune's childish voice ringing out.  
  
"Kaaaaaagome?" It called. "Kaaaaaagome?" The scent was getting stronger, and the dog-demon could feel small eyes on him. Glancing down lazily he saw the small fox child staring up the tree at him, his big green eyes full of questioning.  
  
"Inuyasha, have you seen Kagome around anywhere?" He asked, causing the half-youkai to growl lightly.  
  
'Stupid fucking kid.'  
  
"No." Was his only answer. "Now, beat it and leave me alone." His small eyes glaring daggers at the elder demon, the small fox walked away, no doubt to continue in his quest to find the women who had become like a mother to him over the past year.  
  
'Shippo.' He said silently. 'Kagome's not ever coming back because..... because' He said he only thing that he knew was true. 'Because I fucked up.'  
  
Slowly, unknown even to himself, a lone tear splashed down his cheek, mingling with his silver white hair.  
  
[Together  
  
Holding hands we'll fall  
  
Hands we'll fall]  
  
Kagome was floating in darkness, completely lost and alone.  
  
It was cold, the windless air holding a strong, almost arctic chill to it that made her rub her arms for warmth. She looked around, but there was nothing but black all around her.  
  
She was scared, very scared, and very lost. To her, she didn't know which way was up, down, sideways, what. It was only utter isolation.  
  
Suddenly she heard voices, and spun her head in that direction. She smiled to see that it was Inuyasha and she called out to him.  
  
But he seemed not to hear her, instead he was speaking to someone else. Kagome's heart sank to see that it had been her former self, come back to haunt her future.  
  
She had never seen him so happy before. He was smiling, even laughing as he bent down the kiss the priestess, breaking away only to smile and repeat the whole process again.  
  
Emotions churned inside her.  
  
She was crying out of sadness, and yet her blood and chest burned with hatred.  
  
Desperately she called out his name again and again, but he was deaf and blind to all else but the beautiful maiden in front of him.  
  
Reaching out her hand to him, she tried to get his attention, but just as he hand was about to reach him, she felt herself falling.......  
  
She let out a small cry of fear as she continued to descend rapidly, faces and colors swimming in and out her vision. Inuyasha's face appeared in front of her eyes, and she desperately grasped at it, wanting, needing something to save her.........  
  
Her fingertips brushed the vision as it disappeared, leaving her alone to face the death that was sure was to come.............  
  
Kagome bolted up awake in her bed, scaring the cat that had been comfortably resting on her stomach. Her breathing was labored as the dream still blazed fresh in mind. Wiping her forehead of the cold sweat and her eyes of the tears that she had shed during the night she walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth and brush out her hair.  
  
'What was that?' She asked herself, desperate to know the answer, but not wanting to face the truth.  
  
She caught her reflection in the mirror and gasped, not sure if what she was looking at was really herself or not. Her hair was in complete disarray, and her eyes had small bags on them from stress and lack of sleep, not to mention her eyes looked hollow somehow, deadened, as if the sparkle of happiness that had always shone in them had disappeared.  
  
[This has gone on so long  
  
I realize that I need]  
  
"Is he affecting me this much?" She whispered to herself, as she placed a hand on the mirror. "Have a really become this hopelessly dependent on him?" She waited for a few moments before answer came to her quite truthfully. 'Yes, I love him, and I need him.......'  
  
Shaking her head in self disgust she turned away from the mirror, resting he back of her head against it. After a few moments, she reached her grim oath.  
  
She was going to harden herself.  
  
Never again would she kiss up to a man, or love a man. She wasn't ever going to let herself fall this badly again, Never.  
  
The only person she was going to rely from this point on was herself.  
  
[Something good to rely on]  
  
Finding new strength from inside herself, she held her head up high and strode out the bathroom with a confident air to get herself ready to face the day.  
  
[Something for me]  
  
Inuyasha still hadn't moved from his tree, and nor had he slept. He had just sat there like a useless piece of driftwood as he watched the sunrise.  
  
He wondered what Kagome was doing now, whether if she had that school thing or not and sighed.  
  
Things just weren't the same without Kagome around, the camp was so much quieter without her cheerful voice to be heard, and Shippo had long ago figured that Inuyasha was to blame for Kagome's sudden disappearance, and had yelled his little heart at him before dissolving into tears.  
  
The wind rustled the trees, causing his long hair to sway in the wind.  
  
Something had to be wrong, it was just to damn quite, and there was a lingering smell in the air that made him uneasy. Very uneasy. It didn't take long for him to discover what is was, seeing as one of Kikyo's soul searchers slithered past him.  
  
Instantly his ears perked up, and his nose twitched, taking in all the scents around him. He quickly identified her scent and began to run to it, not knowing why he was filled with the desire to lay eyes on the beautiful woman that hated him with such intensity.  
  
And yet, he was powerless to stop it.  
  
He had been condemned to her the moment he had promised to protect her.  
  
[When I'm alone I  
  
Feel so much better  
  
And when I'm around you  
  
I don't feel]  
  
Kagome sat in class, not really listening to what the teacher was saying and just doodling absentmindedly on her paper a she let her thoughts roam again.  
  
Did she really love Inuyasha? Or was she acting like a nieve little fool who didn't know the difference between real love, and I little crush. She had asked her mother on the subject, but her mother had told her to look inside herself for the answer.  
  
So here she was, in the middle of math class, trying to look inside herself for answers.  
  
She wanted to believe that she didn't really love Inuyasha, that I was no more then puppy love, but each time she looked to herself, she always came up with the same answer.  
  
She did love him.  
  
And she missed him, she needed him, and hated not being by his side.  
  
Vainly, she tried to push away all memories of him, and harden her heart to the point that she didn't care about him, but she knew that she didn't have the strength to do that like Inuyasha or even Sesshomaru could do.  
  
She was to weak.  
  
Too fucking weak.  
  
And she hated herself for her own weakness against love.  
  
[Together  
  
It doesn't feel right at all  
  
Together  
  
Together we built a wall]  
  
'Oh Inuyasha.' She thought desperately as she buried her head into her arm so as not to let her tears be known. 'Can't you see that I love you?'  
  
[Together  
  
Holding hands we'll fall  
  
Hands we'll fall]  
  
Inuyasha followed the scent steadily and faithfully until he reached the point that he could just stop running and walk into the clearing where he knew she would be waiting.  
  
Sure enough, as he passed the trees, he saw her draped between two branches, her hair long and free as she gazed at him with her intense eyes.  
  
"Greetings, Inuyasha." She welcomed. "I hope your well."  
  
"Cut the shit Kikyo." He growled, battling with himself. Half of him wanted to run to her and smoother her with kisses and love, while the other half wished she would just disappear from his life forever. "I know your here for a reason."  
  
"Impatient as always I see." She said, with a small laugh. "I came here for one simple purpose, Inuyasha. I want your answer, I've given you nearly a year to decide on who you will choose. I refuse to wait any longer." The hanyou feel silent, lost in thought.  
  
This was it, the moment that was either going to make or break him forever. He sighed, his eyes pleading with the undead woman for more time, which she silently refused with the look in her fierce mahogany eyes.  
  
Slowly he walked up to her, gently taking her face in his clawed hands.  
  
"Kikyo, I love you." He said with sincerity. "But I can't be with you on Earth. If you drug me to hell, then we would be eternally bound, but eternally bound in death. I can't do that Kikyo, I love you, but I can't die for you. Kikyo, I choose to live." Her eyes widened as she took in what he was saying to her, and her gaze dropped to the ground.  
  
"So you choose that other woman, my reincarnation?" She said, it was more of a statement then a question.  
  
"Yes." He whispered. She looked up at him and nodded.  
  
[My heart is broken  
  
I'm lying here]  
  
"Then remember, Inuyasha." She replied. "I'll be waiting for you in the other world." She leaned and gave him a soft kiss on the lips before fading, the last of her voice echoing.  
  
"Remember..........."  
  
[My thoughts are choking on you my dear]  
  
Inuyasha gazed at the spot where his ex love had just been moment's before, and bowed in respect.  
  
"I know I'll see you on the other side Kikyo, of that I can make sure." And without further words, he turned and left for the Bone-Eater's well.  
  
He had to make up with Kagome before it was too late.  
  
[On you my dear  
  
On you my dear]  
  
Kagome reached her home after school, and wordlessly flopped onto her bed.  
  
'Who knew that letting go would be so hard?' She asked herself. 'Before I knew it, I'd grow love him so completely, that I feel like I can't go, like I don't want to let go.' Helplessly, she felt another sob welling I her throat, which she determinedly fought down.  
  
'No!' She told herself firmly. 'I refuse to waste anymore tears on him, he's........ he's just not worth it.' And although her mind took in what she was saying, in her heart she knew that he was more then worth it.  
  
[When I'm alone I  
  
Feel so much better  
  
And when I'm around you  
  
I don't feel]  
  
Punching her pillow in frustration she buried her head into the covers and sobbed, wondering why she had been made to be so weak.  
  
She couldn't even push Inuyasha away, just couldn't let him go, she just couldn't accept that he wanted Kikyo more then he did with her. she hated Kikyo, utterly hated her with a fiery passion that even scared herself.  
  
Hearing a noise from outside, her head bolted up.  
  
'I wonder what that is.' She said to herself as she left her room and made her way to the backdoor to investigate the noise.  
  
Inuyasha heaved a sigh and stared done the well for a few moments before reaching his final decision. Summoning all of his bravery, he jumped into the well, praying that Kagome hadn't sealed it.  
  
The walls of the well disappeared as he was engulfed in a unnatural blue light before safely landing in the future. Taking in a quick calculation of the scents surrounding him, he knew that Kagome was in the house somewhere.  
  
'I hope she doesn't hate me.' He wondered softly. 'Although, I wouldn't be surprised is she does.' Taking a deep breath he jumped out of the well, silently landing in the shrine.  
  
Opening the door he banged his hand against the wood- hard. A small thud echoed in the small shrine as the hanyou cursed softly before stepping out of the shrine into the golden sunlight.  
  
[Together  
  
It doesn't feel right at all]  
  
Kagome reached the back door and peered out the window. Unable to see anything out the ordinary she decided to get a closer look.  
  
Opening the door she stuck her head out before gasping and pulling it back in, slamming the door shut behind her as Inuyasha appeared out of her family shrine.  
  
'On no.' She mentally moaned. 'Now what do I do?' Her mind had several different answers to that one, one of them being sitting him to death, or forgiving him and hopefully get her life back to normal until the next time he got pissed and blew it apart.  
  
"Oh God." She moaned as she heard knocking on the door. Taking a large breath she opened it, revealing Inuyasha standing in her doorway.  
  
"Kagome I-"  
  
"Save it." She bit out harshly, keeping her facade carefully in place as she inwardly fought not to cry. "I have nothing more to say you. Goodbye." Without a second glance she turned and slammed the door in his face as stormed upstairs to her room.  
  
'Wait a go Kagome.' She said to herself. 'Wait to go. He probably really hates you now.' Knowing that her conscience was true, her shoulders slumped as she turned the handle of her door, leaving her to gasp with shock yet again as she saw the half-youkai sitting comfortably on her desk.  
  
[Together  
  
Together we built a wall  
  
Together Holding hands we'll fall  
  
Hands we'll fall]  
  
"Inuyasha." She whispered, her gaze dropping to the floor. "Why are you here?"  
  
"Because." He replied, his amber eyes softening as he walked towards the young girl. "Because........." Taking a breath, he forced the words out of his mouth. "Because I want to say sorry."  
  
Kagome's head snapped up as she stared at Inuyasha in shock.  
  
'What?' She thought in amazement. 'He's apologizing?'  
  
"I-it's ok." She stammered, not wanting to meet his gaze in fear that this was all just a cruel joke, that he would start laughing at any moment.  
  
"No, it's no ok Kagome." He replied quietly. "I treat you like shit, and still, you try to be my friend. I don't deserve a friend like you."  
  
"Inuyasha, don't say that!" She cried. "Of course you do! Oh, Inuyasha....." Without thinking she ran into his arms, sobbing. "Oh God, Inuyasha I love you."  
  
[Together  
  
It doesn't feel right at all  
  
Together  
  
Together we built a wall]  
  
Inuyasha sat silently, stiffing a little as she wrapped her arms around him, but gently relaxed into the embrace.  
  
"I Know you'll never love me Inuyasha." She sobbed as he wrapped his arms around the shaking girl. "I know, you love Kikyo, but please, Inuyasha, don't push me away. Even if I can't be with you, at least I'll be your friend. That'll be enough for me, just to be near you."  
  
The hanyou sat there, taking the girl's words in.  
  
'She loves me?' He asked himself in shock. 'How could she love someone as low, as worthless as me?'  
  
"Kagome." He said quietly as she lifted her head to gaze at his face, her chocolate brown eyes shimmering with tears. He breathed in deeply. "Watashimomata aishiteru I love you too" Happiness filled every part of the young Miko as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek, not daring to do anything more then that.  
  
[Together  
  
Holding hands we'll fall  
  
Hands we'll fall]  
  
Then as suddenly as the happiness had filled her, it was drained away by a sad thought.  
  
"But, what about........ Inuyasha, what about Kikyo?" She blurted the words out quickly, not wanting to hear the cold hard truth, or have just become moody and sullen like he usually did, but not wanting to live a lie either.  
  
"Kagome.....she's........she's gone." He answered, tilting her head up so that she was looking at him. "Kikyo, she's my death Kagome. Nothing could come from that. I......chose life. I-I chose you."  
  
[When I'm around you  
  
When I'm around you]  
  
Kagome smiled and wrapped her arms around him, snuggling into his red clothing.  
  
"I'm glad." She whispered. "I was just so afraid that your were slipping away from me. I was scared Inuyasha, I was so scared of loosing you." He rubbed her back, a little awkwardly.  
  
"It' ok, Kagome, I'm not going anywhere." He said, a small shy note to his voice. "I'm staying right here." Smiling she closed her eyes, feeling his warmth seep into her body.  
  
'This is enough.' She thought. 'I don't need anything more the this.'  
  
"Kagome?" She looked up, only to meet with the half demon's lips on her own. She froze in shock for a moment, this being her first kiss after all, but quickly melted into it, kissing him back. He broke away for a moment, reading her reaction before it was his turn to be surprised as she was the one who made the first move.  
  
Breaking apart, Kagome blushing a little and chuckling nervously, they gazed into each other's eyes.  
  
[I don't feel together  
  
I don't feel together]  
  
Inuyasha grinned a little nervously himself before clearing his throat.  
  
"So that means, you'll come back?" He asked, his amber eyes filled with happiness, seeing as he pretty much already knew her answer.  
  
"Of course you baka." She said, laughing as she playfully smacked him upside the head. Laughing, the two headed for Kagome's shrine and Feudal Japan.  
  
[When I'm around you  
  
When I'm around you]  
  
Pausing, Inuyasha looked back at Kagome's house and breathed in deeply before joining the girl on the other side of the well.  
  
Sometimes, the past can hold you back from a wonderful future. You can get lost in it, and become blinded by it. But in the end, the past is the past. As long as you can let it go, it's enough.  
  
And now, Inuyasha had one very good reason to leave the past behind.  
  
[I don't feel together  
  
I don't feel together]  
  
A/N:  
  
Wow, this was long. Over 4,000 words! Feels proud Anyways, what did you guys think? Liked it, hated it, want to tear to pieces and feed it to the sharks, what? Please, please let me know! Neways, catch ya later! 


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